Misc. 2D Works
WE SHARE HALF A BRAINAcrylic and gouache and probably ink on tin6 X 12 inches
and introducing the work of my alter egoartist-savant Francisco Ignacio Santiago PudienteTHE SAN MIGUEL COCKTAIL CIRCUITGouache on paper
22 1/2 X 30 inches
Francisco (Paco) Ignacio Santiago Pudiente and his sister Placenta (Placenta) Juanito Sabio Pudiente are artist savants from south of the border down Mexico way.
Paco divides his time between painting poignantly emotive works of art, working with his Chihuahuas on their synchronized swimming routines, and trying to learn his native language, Spanish. All their dogs are bilingual and have papers; pet-degrees from the Universidad de Guadalajara. They are the real McCoyoacán and none are for sale. Panco lives with his sister Placenta who makes nativity scenes from chewed Chiclets she finds while walking the dogs. Both keep low profiles. There have been no sightings of them and they are represented solely by their international agent, and spiritual adviser, Francie Rich, Covington, Louisiana.
Paco and Placenta are like an old married couple, they communicate in short hand and sex isn’t what it used to be. They have no children. They can entertain themselves for hours, Placenta experiments with marinades and can vomit at the drop of a hat. They sell fake relics of Juan Diego, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and Elvis's mutton chops. Both Paco and Placenta abide by a high moral code and truly believe they are helping anyone stupid enough to buy their fake relics.
Francisco likes eBay. Placenta likes anything that plugs in. Placenta is always hot and doesn’t like her clothes to touch her body. She wears no underwear because she gets especially hot “down there.” She suffers hormonal problems and wears several hormone patches secured with duct tape. She is very sensitive to bright daylight. Francisco doesn’t like overcooked pasta but loves pie, and loves saying “pie hole.”
The Pudiente’s worship Christopher Walken as the true savior and liberator of Mexico and Saturday Night Live. Their altar to him includes a life size wooden nude Walken screwed to the cross lighted by a revolving disco ball. They burn incense and filter-less cigarettes. The aroma gives Placenta incredible headaches that send her to bed with a cool rag, a passel of Chihuahuas, and a handful of Fiorinal. She shares all of it with Pu who also gets migraines from the richness of his paintings. They are working on fake Christopher Walken relics.
Bernard Pivot QuestionnaireWhat is your favorite word?
Paco: Pie
Placenta: Marinade
What is your least favorite word?
Paco: Marinade
Placenta: Pie
What turns you on?
Paco: Pie
Placenta: Pu used to
What turns you off?
Paco: Drug lords throwing heads onto dance floors in Michoacan
Placenta: When a Chihuahua licks his butt then kisses me on the lips before I realize what’s happening
What is your favorite curse word?
Paco: Shut your yammering pie hole
Placenta: Oops
What sound or noise do you love?
Paco: Pie
Placenta: Air conditioner compressor kicking on
What sound or noise do you hate?
Paco: "Personal best"
Placenta: "Went missing”
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Paco: Renovate a villa in Tuscany
Placenta: Sales associate in the technology department of Gigante
What profession would you not like to do?
Paco: Nothing that entails repetitive motions
Placenta: Exorcist or politician
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Paco: Hola, Buenos dias Senor Pudiente have some pie
Placenta: Christopher Walken is right over there waiting for you in our electronic department
THE TWO FRIDAS
Acrylic and gouache on tin and wood
22 1/4 X 26 1/2 inches
OH THE MANATEE, Acrylic on wood
The Connoisseurs, Gouache on paper (big paper)